Resolving a cross ticking time bomb
by Ariane DeVere
Summary: Sherlock has been cross, tense and snappy and has been avoiding John for days, and John has no idea why. Will a text conversation finally reveal what the problem is? Bickering, banter, text talk, romance


John, I need you to keep each text I send you from now on. SH

_Why? J_

Oh, no particular reason.

_What's going on?_

How have you come to the conclusion that something is 'going on'?

_Well, let's face it – something usually IS going on with you. Are you in trouble?_

No, I'm not, and I resent the implication.

_So what are you up to?_

I am busy.

_That's very informative, thanks. (P.S. That's sarcasm.) What are you doing, and where?_

Looking for some refuge where I won't be bothered by annoying questions.

_Tetchy._

Only because it should be obvious that I would tell you where I am if I wanted you to know.

_OK. So what's the problem?_

Vague questions like that only annoy me, John, you should know that. Be more specific.

_Why have you been so secretive these last few days?_

Everyone has 'secrets,' John. Am I not allowed to have any myself?

_Of course you are, but it's like you've been avoiding me, and even when we talk you look shifty._

You're being ridiculous. And paranoid. And I've never looked 'shifty' in my life.

_Ha! With your collar up and your eyes flitting everything, you can be the absolute eppitome of shifty! And don't tell me I can't spell eppitome – the spellcheck on this phone still doesn't work._

Oh for God's sake, I fixed that for you. How did you manage to switch it off AGAIN?

_If I knew that, I wouldn't have done it, would I?_

Unbelievable. You're hopeless.

_Very probably. And you're avoiding my question._

...

_What's that supposed to mean? Seriously, is there anything we ought to talk about?_

Can't you just work it out?

_So there IS something. Just tell me, Sherlock. Assume that I'm an idiot, and just TELL me._

A man just walked past me with a ferret on a lead. It's not something you see on the Strand every day.

_I've seen them there before. And don't change the subject._

No, I'm not changing the subject. Just passing the time in the hope that you'll finally catch up.

_I might catch up quicker without the insults._

You should be able to work it out yourself, John. I thought I taught you better than that.

_You mean 'taught' as in "Oh for God's sake, John, how can anyone be so stupid?" THAT sort of 'taught'?_

Oh, really, John. You are not stupid. I know that. And you're right – we do have something we should discuss. I just find it difficult to talk about it.

_OK. I understand that._

Unfortunately, I doubt that you do.

_That's because you assume that I don't understand YOU. Some time very soon I'll surprise you._

Exactly what does that mean? What is there about me which needs understanding? And you CONSTANTLY surprise me, John.

_I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me._

Very easily pleased, aren't you?

_Look, if anyone else said that, I'd be suspicious, but from you that was rather flattering._

Easily pleased, as I said, but I'm glad you took it in the sense it was meant.

_Over the time we've shared the flat, I've learned a bit of Sherlock-speak._

Really? Is my language so very different from everyone else's?

_VERY different, occasionally, but I'm starting to understand what you really mean._

Living together for a period of time does make communication easier, I suppose.

_Except we still struggle to tell each other the full truth sometimes, don't we?_

Only when it's something very complicated which might potentially spoil our friendship.

_You need to have more faith in me, Sherlock. I can't imagine anything you could say which would make me stop being your friend._

Vicious motivators can be dangerous to any friendship.

_Oh there you go again, being all cryptic, like you're trying to distract me from the real topic._

Easier said than done, apparently.

_Ultimately, you're going to have to trust me, and tell me what you want me to know._

Maybe I already have done.

_The thing is, Sherlock, that for once in my life I'm one step ahead of you._

Explain what you mean, please. I really do hope that you HAVE understood what I'm saying. I don't think I've ever been so nervous in my life.

_Or you could stop assuming that I can't see what's happening right in front of my eyes._

?

_Oh, you blithering idiot. Once we got past the ferret I realised what you were doing. Even I can do a downwards acrostic, Sherlock. Now look at the first letter in MY last 11 texts, including this one. And come home NOW._

_P.S. Don't be afraid. Just get back here, please._

_Sherlock?_

_Sherlock, answer me._

_And don't try and work out a code from these last few texts, because there isn't one._

_Don't go quiet on me now, Sherlock. Trust me – everything's going to be fine. Just answer me, please._

_Sherlock, PLEASE._

Sorry. I was saving this string of messages before I accidentally delete them. I'm in a cab – three minutes away.

I'm not afraid.

I'm never afraid when I'm with you.

I'm almost home.

* * *

Author's Note: If you can't be bothered to go back and work it out for yourself, Sherlock's acrostic message – reading downwards, using the initial letter of each of his texts – is:

_John I love you. Can you ever love me?_

and John's overlapping reply is:

_I love you too_

Oh, and by the way, the man with the ferret on a lead walked past me on the Strand one lunchtime while I was writing this! Like John, I've seen them before but it seemed appropriate to include them in this story while I was frantically scrabbling for sentences which started with the correct letter!

Let's not talk about the bijillion times that I slowly and carefully looked down each set of texts (a) to make sure that I hadn't mis-spelled either of the main messages and (b) to make even more sure that the texts which _weren't_ part of the messages didn't inadvertently spell out something rude!

P.S. Did you see what I did with the story's title?! "_Re_**solving a cross tick**_ing time bomb_" = "Solving acrostic." Oh, I crack myself up sometimes(!)

Happy birthday, Squire Danlef. I hope you have a lovely day and a fantastic year. I miss you so much, sweetie, and I really hope you can get to London some time this year. Love and affectionate cushion-thumps, Ari xx


End file.
